A TikTok trend involving women glorifying a “homewrecker” lifestyle is getting attention, and now some women are lashing out with threats of violence — which isn’t at all surprising. While it may confuse people that anyone is willing to fight over a man, the fact of the matter is that many people are quite territorial, and with-or-without trends like this so-called “homewrecker” trend on TikTok, tempers can explode violently over cheating and the like. In fact, these foolish girls participating in the trend are putting themselves in potential danger by playing games with other peoples’ relationships and marriages. It’s obvious that these women don’t follow any True Crime stories or current events in the news — otherwise this wouldn’t be a trend at all.
How to motivate a potential murderer: Meddle in their love life
Aside from greed, most murders are motivated by jealousy and vengeance on a worldwide scale. In particular, the killing of a romantic rival has been studied for decades. In a Los Angeles Times article published in 2007, the findings of a study researching jealousy-and-vengeance-fueled violence found that in a group of 5,000 people, 84% of women and 91% of men had violent fantasies about murdering romantic usurpers — or “homewreckers.” These violent fantasies often involved graphically gruesome, brutal torture-killings of romantic or sexual rivals whom they believed took their significant others from them. Fortunately the majority of people don’t act on these fantasies, but a lot of people still do. The unfortunate thing for potential victims, is that you simply can’t tell who’s going to go into a homicidal rage over this sort of thing until it happens. That means you can wreck a few homes and get away with it until one day, you don’t.
Homewreckers Who Wrecked The Wrong Homes
This TikTok trend of women glorifying being homewreckers could have dangerous consequences. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, an overwhelming number of people admit to having violent fantasies of murdering their romantic rivals. And even though most people are deterred by laws and potential consequences, there are still quite a few people who have acted on those urges.
Michelle Le went missing briefly in 2012 in a case that gained national attention. Her former best friend was arrested for her murder. The motive? Michelle was allegedly having a sexual relationship with the father of her child, even though her loved ones — and the man at the center of the love triangle — denied it. However, over the course of the murder trial it was revealed that Michelle Le sought an abortion at some point and talked privately with the man about it, which implies that she did indeed have sex with the father of her best friend’s baby. The woman who killed Le, Giselle Esteban, fought with the father of her child numerous times over his involvement with Le, and the entire situation completely ended her friendship with the other woman. At one point she texted to her on-again-off-again boyfriend that “Michelle has dug her own grave by being a homewrecker and whore.” Shortly later, she kidnapped and murdered the woman.
Heather Elvis disappeared in December 2013 from the Myrtle Beach area in South Carolina, and her disappearance became another huge national story. Over the course of the search for Heather, it was revealed that she’d aggressively pursued a married man until the two of them entered a sexual relationship. That man was Sidney Moorer, and pursuing him was Heather’s biggest mistake. Eventually it was determined by investigators that Sidney’s wife Tammy became so enraged at the affair her husband was having with this woman, that she acted on her desire to have revenge. The bad news for Heather was that Sidney was still loyal enough to his wife that he allegedly assisted her in kidnapping and killing the girl that Tammy deemed a homewrecker. Heather Elvis has never been found.
Meredith Rahme was murdered in 2017 after engaging in an affair with a married man, which led to the dissolution of his marriage, and spurred a contentious child custody battle. The woman behind the slaying of Meredith Rahme — Jessica Edens — also killed her two children before turning a gun on herself and committing suicide on the same day of the homicide. At the end of this bloody day in 2017, a total of four people were dead — and it was all because of an extramarital affair. Just days before the triple-murder-suicide, Edens took to social media to declare that Meredith Rahme was a “homewrecker” and that she was going to get what she deserved.
In 2018, a woman named Meredith Sullivan Chapman was murdered after 47-year-old Jannair Gerardot broke into her home and shot her, before taking her own life. Investigators quickly learned that Chapman, a younger woman, had engaged in an extramarital affair with Gerardot’s husband Mark. She was also married at the time of her affair with the married man, adding another layer to this love triangle.
In 2019, a woman named Maria Sokolova was murdered by the wife of the man she’d been sleeping with. The incident took place in Russia, and was so horrific that it made international headlines. Elena Romanova confessed to killing the woman by strangling her with a scarf before setting her on fire and stabbing her repeatedly. The murder victim in this case was fully aware that she was seeing a married man, and had even harassed the woman who confessed to killing her. She had at one point confronted her lover’s wife and told her directly “I will take your family from you.” It seems that Maria Sokolova was proud of being a so-called “homewrecker,” but in the end all this achieved was triggering the homicidal rage of the other woman. Now she’s dead, Elena Romanova is in prison and the man that all of this was over? Well, he pretty much immediately moved on with another woman. He never went to his lover ‘s funeral, and also never visited his wife after she was arrested for killing her.
In 2012, a woman named Shannon Griffin entered the home of Dr. Irina Puscariu in Gladstone, Missouri before shooting her dead. She had just learned that Puscariu had been having an extramarital affair with her husband, who also informed his wife that he had no intentions of ending the affair. This enraged the married woman, who shot her husband’s mistress three times in the face.
Betty Broderick was convicted of two counts of manslaughter after the 1989 double murder of her former husband and his affair-partner-turned-wife Linda. This is an especially sad case because of how Betty was treated leading up to the murders. You see, Betty and her husband Daniel were long-time sweethearts who were living the American dream. Of course this came on the back of the dutiful wife who stuck by her husband through not only law school, but med school as well. She supported him and produced a family for him, all the while he was having an affair with the far-younger secretary at his law firm. Linda was a “mean girl” type, and she didn’t see the problem with harassing her lover’s wife during their affair and following the end of their marriage. She allegedly sent liposuction and wrinkle cream pamphlets to Betty Broderick’s address even after she “won” the man — after he’d already left his wife and moved in with her. Eventually, Broderick completely snapped. She broke into the home of her former husband and his new wife and she shot them both as they laid in bed.
The aforementioned cases are just a tiny fraction of an example of the numerous similar cases that arise every year. And that’s not even counting the near-fatal assaults, violent group-beatings, cases of arson and gross destruction/vandalism, etc. The list could go on and on with no end.
It should be noted that the above paragraphs are merely illustrating the potential consequences of meddling with marriages and relationships of other people, but that in no way means that anyone deserves to have their lives cut short. Those who are guilty of committing jealous-vengeance murders are still murderers and they are guilty of committing deplorable actions. Nonetheless, that doesn’t erase the fact that the majority of these murders may have never had taken place had these affairs not happened. That also doesn’t erase the responsibility of the cheating partners of these scorned spouses who commit violent acts on who they consider “homewreckers.” It takes two people to wreck a home, and it’s always the fault of both the cheating spouse and the person who willingly enters a sexual relationship with a married person — or someone who is in an otherwise committed relationship. Mostly, it’s the fault of the cheating spouse or partner, for making the choice to violate the bonds of their relationship (or marriage). Of course, there are countless cases of husbands and wives murdering their spouses over cheating, as well.
It’s just not worth it — but human emotions aren’t known for being rational
As stated in the previous paragraph, the majority of the blame falls on the cheating partner — more than the so-called “homewrecker” who is usually really more of an opportunist in the big scheme of things. As the saying goes, someone who really loves you can’t be “stolen.” If your partner or spouse cheats on you, then the primary issues are their infidelity and their disloyalty — and the solution to those issues doesn’t rest on the shoulders of a so-called homewrecker, whether their actions are intentionally nefarious or not. The thing is, this level of rationality doesn’t mesh with the notoriously irrational human condition, especially emotions such as anger, jealousy and the desire for revenge. You cannot rationalize with someone who is irrationally in their feelings — whatever they might be.
The whole thing just isn’t worth it, from the concept of even getting violent over a cheating spouse at all — to the viral concept of glorifying those who participate in creating these ruined marriages and relationships. Not only is this viral TikTok trend completely toxic for a variety of psychological and social reasons, but it’s really just going to put a bunch of ill-informed women in potential danger. It’s already attracting broad threats of violence from women who are angered by the entire idea of “homewreckers” bragging about their conquests. Frankly, this could end up sparking an increase in violent reports associated with infidelity and love triangles.
Simply put: A lot of people are unstable, and some people live their lives just a hair away from snapping. These people can be normal human beings who live normal lives, and who might not give even a sign of their short tempers or violent urges. A lot of these people likely don’t even have violent urges until just the moment that triggers their anger to that degree. You can never know what kind of reaction your actions might cause, because you can only be responsible for your own actions.
No amount of philosophy that you might possess about infidelity or “toxic relationships” matters when it comes to someone else who isn’t a rational person. When someone feels cornered or threatened — including with their marriages and relationships — they are likely to react in a way that is completely irrational, which includes physical violence and murder. This could even include people who are otherwise rational, and who on any other day would agree that the responsibility really falls on their cheating partner.
Chelsea Hoffman is a true crime writer with over a decade of professional writing experience. She is best known for her coverage of missing people including the tragic disappearance of Madeleine McCann as well as the heartbreaking cases of Dylan Redwine, Heather Elvis and many others.
