What is informed consent? This term is getting attention right now because of some very public drama being played out between two popular TikTokers. TikTokers Chelsea Hart and Lance Tsosie (aka Modern Warrior) have been getting a lot of attention due to the falling out of a romantic relationship that was, for all intents and purposes, a sort of secret. Over the course of the past several days, Chelsea Hart — and at least one other young woman — has exposed Lance for being deceptive and for using them for sex. Now the internet is divided between supporting Chelsea and calling her out for implying that she was sexually assaulted — even though she hasn’t necessarily made that direct of an accusation. Hart believe she was denied the right to informed consent, and technically she’s right.
What happened between Modern Warrior and Chelsea Hart?
According to Hart, she and Tsosie had become romantically involved with one another shortly after becoming friends via TikTok. The popular feminist influencer claims that she was led to believe that Lance had strong feelings for her, as she did for him. Over the course of approximately six months, they had multiple intimate conversations which led to her getting a plane ticket and flying to Denver, Colorado to link up with Modern Warrior in person. During this trip, Hart claims that the two had unprotected sex — which she says was consensual. However, Hart says that she only consented to the intimate encounter on the basis that she was the only partner he was having sexual contact with. She says that he lied to her, and that she was therefore denied her right to informed consent.
Over the course of their relationship, Chelsea says that she and Modern Warrior discussed the concept of polyamory. It was something that Lance allegedly brought up, and he was wondering if it was something Chelsea would be interested in doing with him. She told him that she’d never be interested in a polyamorous relationship and that if she was going to be seeing someone it’d have to be completely exclusive. According to Hart, these are terms that Lance Tsosie agreed with, and the two never talked about polyamory ever again. This, Hart says, led her to believe that she and Lance were entering an exclusive, monogamous relationship.
That belief, however, was crushed while Hart was literally in Denver visiting Tsosie. Not long after having unprotected sex with Modern Warrior, and apparently while the two weren’t together during her trip to Denver, Tsosie allegedly posted to social media while he was out with another woman. This showed Chelsea that Lance was not at all interested in seeing her exclusively, which crushed her. Like many people do in this era, Chelsea took her sorrow straight to TikTok, and she exposed Modern Warrior for lying to her and essentially tricking her into having unprotected sex with him (allegedly).
Now, the debate of the week is whether or not Lance Tsosie committed SA by deceiving Chelsea Hart — and of course people are passionately divided. Also, there are plenty of other issues pertaining to Chelsea Hart’s claims and her overall public reaction to what happened to her. But this post isn’t about that.
What is informed consent?
Simply put, informed consent is the act of giving permission for something under the condition of fully knowing any consequences or benefits of said actions. Most commonly, this term applies to interactions between doctors and patients, but it also applies to a multitude of other situations including the concept of sexual consent. If we have the full right to bodily autonomy, then we also have the right to informed consent regarding what happens to our bodies, or what we agree to do with our bodies. This is true in medical settings and it is true in sexual activity between consenting partners.
What is SA (sexual assault) by deception?
Factually speaking, there are multiple different types of SA — nine types, to be precise. Most of us are familiar with some of the more commonly reported and discussed types of SA; such as “date rape,” or violent serial SA that gets reported in the news. However, there are lesser-discussed SA types that are absolutely valid and are even punishable under law in many situations. One of those lesser-discussed SA types is “rape by deception,” sometimes called “rape by fraud.” For the rest of this article, it will be referred to as SA by deception.
SA by deception is the act of tricking someone into giving consent for sexual activity. Getting sexual consent through dishonesty, trickery and deceit is a blatant act of SA by deception. When you commit SA by deception, you are stripping the other person of their right to informed consent, causing them to give consent to something that they’d otherwise never do. For example, if you lie about who you are and what you do for a living in order to get a person to have sexual contact with you, you have committed SA by deception. If you lie about your STD status in order to have sex with someone, you have committed SA by deception. If you lie about your age in order to have intercourse with someone, you have committed SA by deception — and possibly other crimes for that matter.
SA by deception is illegal in some countries and some states in the U.S., but according to Yale University Law & Policy Review author Luis E. Chiesa the concept is a “riddle” to some people, when it really shouldn’t be.
“When people lie to obtain money, we call it theft. When they lie to enter private property, we call it trespass. When they lie to obtain sex . . . we have no idea what to call it.”
– Luis E. Chiesa via Yale Law & Policy Review
There is legal precedent, on a worldwide level, of SA by deception being a criminal offense. In 2017, a Missouri man was sentenced to a decade in prison for committing serial SA by deception. Mario Ambrose Antoine was convicted of tricking numerous women into having sex with him, by pretending to be a photographer who was auditioning women to act in pornographic films. All of the women who engaged in sexual activity with this man, only did so because they believed they were auditioning on camera to act in movies. There were no movies and the auditions were all fake. This man committed SA by deception, and he’s paying the price for it. Years prior to the 2017 case, in 2010, a Palestinian man was sentenced to 18 months in jail by an Israeli court after he was convicted of SA by deception. According to reports, the man lied about his identity, pretending to be a wealthy Jewish bachelor in order to have sexual contact with a Jewish woman he’d met. The woman found out the truth after engaging in the sex act, and reported him to police.
Does this mean Modern Warrior broke the law?
Therein lies the debate that’s currently taking over TikTok, and overflowing onto other social media apps. Due to Chelsea Hart going public with the ordeal — which was entirely her right — a tsunami of drama has taken place. Not only are people threatening Modern Warrior and essentially “cancelling” him, but it’s kind of backfired on Chelsea as well. She’s being called a liar and she’s being treated like an unhinged superfan of the popular indigenous activist. Whether or not Chelsea’s behavior is publicly acceptable — and in some ways it is, some ways it isn’t — her emotions appear to be authentic, and she genuinely appears to feel like she’s a victim of some kind of wrongdoing. However, she has not outwardly accused Lance Tsosie of SA’ing her — though she has strongly implied it. She also hasn’t corrected anyone who has directly stated it.
The state of Colorado (where this all supposedly took place) only acknowledges SA by deception/fraud in very specific situations — and neither of those situations apply to what Chelsea Hart alleges happened between her and Lance. As far as SA by fraud goes, the state of Colorado only considers it a crime if a person intentionally pretends to be another person’s spouse, or if the incident takes place in a medical setting. In other words, intentionally misleading a sexual partner into thinking you’re monogamous isn’t a crime — at this time — in Colorado. However, there are people who are trying to change that right now because they believe the current Colorado statutes regarding SA are outdated, and don’t do enough to protect all victims — especially with how the state currently defines consent.
This situation affects all women
The fact that there is a debate regarding the validity of SA by deception shows that we still have a very long way to go in regards to the bodily autonomy of women. The things currently being said in defense of SA by deception as nothing more than “seduction” or “just f*ckboy behavior,” sounds an awful lot like past defenses of “locker room talk,” and “boys being boys.” It’s been barely a decade since the big topic around consent involved whether or not it’s okay to have sex with someone who is drugged, drunk or unconscious. Similarly judgment is always cast on the victims of these situations — whether they’re being accused of being slutty, wearing too revealing of clothing or simply being stupid. The burden of responsibility is always put on the victims — usually women — to reach the standards of the judgmental public, who seems to immediately want to defend the accused, before the accuser.
In the situation involving Chelsea Hart and Modern Warrior, things are no different. While there are very valid judgments being cast amid the backlash that is currently going on, at the end of the day Chelsea Hart claims to be a victim. She has declared that she was denied her right to informed consent, and other women have come forward with similar stories. Whether you personally want to view Modern Warrior’s behavior as “simply f*ckboy behavior,” or sexually predatory, the fact remains that more than one woman has come forward as victims of being lied to, deceived and taken advantage of sexually. Seeing the backlash, the debating and all of the shaming of the women who are speaking out, only sends a negative message to other women who might be struggling with similar experiences. Overall, this impacts all of us and while we all don’t have to agree with everything Chelsea Hart has said and done, it’s important to acknowledge that something did happen, and she is not okay as a result of it.
Chelsea Hoffman is a true crime writer with over a decade of professional writing experience. She is best known for her coverage of missing people including the tragic disappearance of Madeleine McCann as well as the heartbreaking cases of Dylan Redwine, Heather Elvis and many others.
