No, You Don't Have to be Friends (or Family) With That Drug Addict

A Reddit post about a bride not wanting her drug addict brother-in-law at her wedding is going viral — and hundreds of people are blasting her for a variety of reasons. While there are plenty of good points being expressed about how the woman is behaving toward her future husband and his family, many seem to be pushing the idea that the bride’s a bad person for choosing not to associate with drug addicts. It totally seems like the post in general was some kind of ragebait — and droves of people are biting down on the hook. However, it also seems like it’s a good time to state the obvious: You are not required to allow anyone in your personal space that makes you feel uncomfortable — and yes, that includes people who are addicted to drugs. You are not a bad person for cutting toxic people and their toxic habits out of your life, regardless of who that person is.

Drug addiction doesn’t just harm the drug user

Drug addicts may live as if they’re in their own little bubbles, but the fact of the matter is that their drug use affects more than just themselves. This might sound like “stating the obvious,” but if it were that obvious there’s be just as much sympathy — if not more — for the secondary victims of drug addiction as there is for those who choose to use the drugs in the first place. People who are addicted to drugs have families, and those families often suffer unnecessarily due to said addiction. From stressed and bankrupt parents to traumatized, neglected children — people who choose drugs over their loved ones can leave a wake of destruction and despair in their paths. The emotional and financial tolls their behavior takes on their loved ones can leave lasting, sometimes irreparable damage. This source explains how families of drug addicts are often overlooked as victims. In the worst of cases, they commit heinous crimes against their own family and friends, in order to get the money for their drugs, or during drug related psychotic episodes.

A study in 2017 found that 1 out of 3 children entered foster care due to parental drug addiction — and that the number of neglected children in the system due to drug abuse has increased dramatically since 2007. Furthermore, children who end up in foster care tend to suffer from psychological, emotional and behavioral issues into their teen years and adult life — moreso than children who remain with stable families.

This source explains how children of drug abusers tend to be more at risk of physical and sexual abuse. This can be seen in action by the numerous news reports at any given week that report on cases of child abuse. Numerous advocates against child abuse acknowledge drugs and alcohol as growing contributors to crimes against children.

The damage done to the children of drug addicts is stark and undeniable.

You’re entitled to peace

Whether you’re a survivor of someone else’s drug addiction, or you’ve never been misfortunate enough to experience something like that — you’re entitled to your own peace in life. If you don’t want drug users or addicts in your life, then that is your prerogative. If you’re a survivor, you’re especially entitled to that peace, and you’re entitled to a life free of toxic people and their toxic habits. Anybody who tries to tell you otherwise is really just trying to control how you process and address your own traumas — and that’s not okay.

You don’t have to be friends (or family) with that drug addict. You don’t have to expand your time and energy keeping this person clean, and you don’t have to associate yourself with them or the people they associate with. Some people might judge you for that, and that’s okay. It’s not their life; It’s yours. Just don’t be like the bride in the viral Reddit story and try to control other people in the process of maintaining your peace.